Stock Sux: by Ro McGonegal VOLUME 1, ISSUE 2

You can instantly perceive the difference in an exhaust note, or a slightly wider than stock wheel profile, or a tightened up suspension. If you’re real lucky the idle will lope or the blower will whistle ever so faintly, as if it didn’t want anyone to hear, but your radar would still nail it in a second. All those civilians out there wouldn’t hear a thing. They drive stockers and will always drive stockers. Yes, stock really does suck.
So how do you be un-stock? In a broad sense, a single outward modification, most likely a wheel and tire upgrade, won’t make your ride un-stock. The civilians have already glommed onto them like a freakin’ birthright. Putting them next to a lowered suspension, a visually pleasing as well as pragmatic change, won’t necessarily move you out of stock, either, but it’s a good start. It might even tempt you to make changes to the powertrain controller or in the hard parts themselves. Hopefully your ride is smog-exempt. If it isn’t, make your power choices wisely…or get to know the dude at the inspection station real well.
When I was coming up, the powertrain layout of record was front-engine/rear-drive. Hondas and Toyotas hadn’t been invented yet. I wanted a V8 and rear-wheel drive in the same vehicle and the cheapest and easiest way to do it was a truck. It’s just a means to an end. You don’t like the whole pick-up routine, that’s okay, name your own poison. Because I’m not stupid enough to bend over the fender of a late-model Camaro, I took the utility of a 5.3L Silverado and began to throw parts at it.
Though the short-block is original, I did the expected elsewhere: “cold air” intake kit, shorty headers, high-flow cats, and a 3-inch after-cat system. Aftermarket 1.8:1 rocker arms and kit were matched to the camshaft (210/218 duration; 0.551 lift), and aftermarket small-port, high-velocity cylinder heads (with 62cc combustion chambers) are straddled by a roots-type supercharger dealing 6.5psi of positive manifold pressure.
Long story short, rear-wheel power went from 260 to 460 and grunt increased quite the same. The EPA fuel mileage estimate is 16/19mpg; the imposter gets marginally less, 15.5/18.5, and spends most of its life on the 750 to 1,800rpm table. At cold idle, the Crane camshaft bumps right along hypnotic and I think how odd it is just watching the left front corner of the truck shiver. To a miscreant like me though, the sound of the engine with this cam is worth more than what it actually does. I’m pathetic, but also older, wiser and glomming onto the abstract because the tangible seems to disappear much too quickly nowadays.
A larger throttle body and a stock or blower grind camshaft with wider lobe separation would probably put another 50 grunts to the tires. (NOTE: Since the programming supplied with the Radix is designed for a completely stock engine, there is no way for it to apply and graduate the values that this combination needed. Using a Crane hand-held tuner, Vinci Hi-Performance in Maitland, FL, was successfully able to custom-program the combination).
The 295/45ZR18s spin even under light throttle and if you’re turning right from a dead stop, make sure the 5-0 isn’t lookin’ because the tires rotate with a will of their own. The same thing happens when the revamped transmission whacks Second gear, loosing that unmistakable warble from the skins and painting stripes of evidence several feet long. So I don’t think I need or want any more grunt just right now. I may be a pig, but I’m no warthog. I’m also a cheap Scot as the expression goes.
At this point, I’m talking about completely stock sheetmetal, but the truck still bleats intent like a hit from a two-pound hammer. I couldn’t have it looking like every agrarian-oriented mutt in my neighborhood, way jacked and monster mudders paddling noisily down the blacktop. Aftermarket suspension dropped it 2 and 4, 14-inch brakes all around, and 9.5-inch wide forgings put that long, low sled into its own niche. Best of all, I would repeat all the modifications without hesitation, avoiding only the low-rpm resonance in the exhaust system. The thing costs nothing extra to maintain; it’ll rip your face off; and it’ll still carry a modest load without a peep.
Look at the accompanying images. Just relieving the Silverado of the Yokel Trim Package did wonders for its appearance, but stock is still stock. So a change in stance, some wide, weirdly painted wheels, and enough rumble in the exhaust to back it all up have transformed the red box into something you might even remember. With radiance like this rummaging down the road, it wouldn’t matter if the engine was warmed up or not, because the truck certainly looks the part, don’t it? Stock sucks. Do something about it.
-RM